"Old mathematicians never die; they just lose some of their functions."
"Since the mathematicians have invaded the theory of relativity, I do not understnad it myself any more." --Albert Einstein
"Mathematics is the art of giving the same name to different things." --J.H. Poincare
"Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive." --Tim Allen
"Calculus has its limits."
"In the fall of 1972 President Nixon announced that the rate of increase of inflatoin was decreasing. This was the first time a sitting president used the third derivative to advance his case for re-election." --Hugo Rossi
"Mathematics consists of proving the most obvious thing in the least obvious way." --George Polya
Pure mathematics is, in its way, the poetry of logical ideas.
It is a mathematical fact that fifty percent of all doctors graduate in the bottom half of their class.
The human mind has never invented a labor-saving machine equal to algebra.
Math is Radical!
Q: What did zero say to eight?
A: Nice belt!
Q: Why did the number get mad at his wife?
A: Because she was being irrational.
Q: Why did the boy eat his math homework?
A: Because his teacher told him it was a piece of cake!
Q: What do you get if you cross a math teacher and a clock?
Q: Why did the scientists want to stay at the mathematician's house?
A: He was serving pi!
Q: Why 6 afraid of 7?
A: Because 7 8 9.
Q: Why was the math book crying?
A: Because it had too many problems.
Q: Why does too much trigonometry make you sick?
A: Because you can catch sin flu!